Alycia's Birthday

This past week end we celebrated Alycia's birthday that was on the 10th. We ate at Lonestar Steakhouse and as a treat Alycia received a free dessert. In order to get the dessert the person has to sit on a saddle while everyone in the restaurant is told about the birthday. Here is the proof that she sat on the saddle.

Playing with the dog

It is a good thing that our pug is good around kids. Lily was using him as a seat.

Jobs -v- Healthcare

 

Valentines day dinner at the Melting Pot

I took the girls out to dinner on Saturday for valentines day. The Melting Pot is a fondue place that is in downtown Salt Lake. It was nice to go out and treat them.

Little Homemaker

Lily learns new things and wants to try new things everyday. This weekend, she helped put clothes in the washer. She didn't sort the clothes in the piles but she took the dirty clothes in and out of the cloth basket.

Throughout the years

A group of 40 years old
buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally
it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant
because the waitress's there were very
young.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again
discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that
they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food there was
very good and the wine selection was good also.

10 years later at
60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.

10 years later, at 70
years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even
had an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once
again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed
that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never
been there before!

Drunk Wisdom

I was sent this and just had to pass it on. 

 

 

 

Why You Should Never, Ever, Question A Drunk . . .


I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A ½ gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right.

I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said, “Yes, you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “Cause you're ugly.”

Alycia's Birthday

Today is Alycia’s birthday. She turns 25. Just wanted to wish you the best of luck for the next year from your loving husband and daughter.

 

Census

Thought I would pass this on. I received this today.

PRINT AND PUT ON REFRIGERATOR   2010 CENSUS TO BEGIN CAUTION!  The 2010 Census is about to begin and you are not obligated to tell them anything, zero, zip, nada, except how many folks live under your roof. You don't have to tell them race, gender, relationship, age or anything else. Census takers may insist they need the additional info for various government requirements, financial grants, or social programs. They would like to know as much as you will divulge. The US Constitution requires a census every ten years only to establish representation in the US House of Representatives, nothing else. I suggest you only give out the info that is required. WARNING: 2010 Census - Cautions from the Better Business Bureau.  Be Cautious About Giving Info to Census Workers by Susan Johnson.  With the U.S. Census process beginning, the Better Business Bureau (BBB)  advises people to be cooperative, but cautious, so as not to become a victim of fraud or identity theft. The first phase of the 2010 U.S. Census is under way as workers have begun verifying the addresses of households across the country.  Eventually, more than 140,000 U.S. Census workers will count every person in the United States and will gather information about every person living at each  address including name, age, gender, race, and other relevant data.  The big question is - how do you tell the difference between a U.S. Census worker and a con artist? BBB offers the following advice:  ** If a U.S. Census worker knocks on your door, they will have a badge, a hand held device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a confidentiality notice. Ask to see their identification and their badge before answering their questions. However, you should never invite anyone you don't know into your home.  ** Census workers are currently only knocking on doors to verify address information.  Do not give your Social Security number, credit card or banking information to anyone, even if they claim they need it for the U.S. Census.  REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ASK, YOU REALLY ONLY NEED TO TELL THEM HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE AT YOUR  ADDRESS.  While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial information, such as a salary range, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. The Census Bureau will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card numbers, nor will employees solicit donations.  Any one asking for that information is NOT with the Census Bureau. AND REMEMBER, THE CENSUS BUREAU HAS DECIDED NOT TO WORK WITH ACORN ON GATHERING THIS INFORMATION..  No Acorn worker should approach you saying he/she is with the Census Bureau. Eventually, Census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or in person at home. However, the Census Bureau will not contact you by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the Census. Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that  are supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau.. For more advice on avoiding identity theft and fraud, visit   www.bbb.org

 

Are you smarter than a preschooler?

I already knew I was dumber than the fifth graders...

but now it's the preschoolers??

 

A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

 

Which way is the bus below traveling?

To the left or to the right?

 

Can't make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.

 

Still don't know?

 

Preschoolers all over the United States

were shown this picture and asked the same question.

90% of the preschooler's gave this answer.

"The bus is traveling to the left."

 

When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?"

 

They answered:

 

"Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."

 

How do you feel now ???

 

I know, me too.

Have a nice day!

Happy Mental Health Day!

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

 

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

 

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

 

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

 

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

 

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?'

 

Happy Mental Health Day!

 

You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to an unstable friend...

 

Done my part!!!

 

 

 

 

The magician and the parrot

A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always give away the tricks saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket."

One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"

 

 

 

 

 

Moses and Jesus

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his
flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more
after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then clicked the
light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the
corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people
would name a bird Moses."
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus." he replied.

 

 

 

 

The parrot and the vet

A lady takes her parrot to the Vet. The Vet takes one look and says,
"I'm afraid your parrot is dead."
"That's terrible," says the woman, "How can you know that. You haven't
examined it or anything."
The Vet heaves a long-suffering sigh, places the parrot on the
examination table, opens the door and whistles. At this, a Labrador dog
bounds into the room, hops up onto the table, sniffs at the parrot,
looks up and shakes its head sadly. Then the Vet gives another whistle
and a cat comes into the room, springs up onto the table, sniffs the
parrot and then shakes its head sadly.
"Well I'm terribly sorry Mrs. Jones but there can be no doubt about it.
Polly is dead."
"Well, it's devastating news but thank you. How much do I owe you?"
"That will be six hundred and forty two pounds please."
"How much?" cried the woman in shock. "That's far too much money!"
"Well it's your own fault," Said the Vet, "If you had believed me in the
first place it would only have been twenty pounds. But you insisted on
a Lab report and a Cat scan!"

 

Being cool

Lily had fun this weekend playing in her room. Here is a couple pics of her being cool in her sunglasses.